Wedding Wednesdays: Expectations vs. Reality

There are over 12,000 books on Amazon about wedding planning. There are “practical guides” and “anti-bride” guides and “DIY” guides and “budget bride” guides and “EVERY LIST YOU’LL EVER NEED FOREVER” guides…pretty much any type of list book/guide book/how to book you could want.

I have yet to find, however, a book about the psychological effects planning a wedding will have on you. THOSE are the kind of books we need! Where’s my “What to Expect when You’re Wedding Planning” book? I mean really. It would help.

I’m not new to this game, y’all. I’ve been planning events for years. YEARS. I love it. I’m good at it. It’s what I do to RELIEVE stress.

Newsflash: Planning your own wedding is VERY different from planning ANYTHING ELSE. I kid you not. I could plan the next Olympics with less stress than I’m under right now. It’s dumb.

Here’s the thing, at the beginning, planning a wedding is all: Bridal magazines! Wedding dresses! Bridesmaids! *gets distracted by new, sparkly ring* Cake tasting! Pinterest! Presents!

Then, a few months in, the crushing reality reality sets in.

• You realize that everything cost TWELVE TIMES WHAT IT SHOULD (just because someone stuck the word “wedding” in front of it)…and  you have to spend your own money on it.
• You realize that you know WAY too many people…and simply deleting names off an Excel sheet does not save you from the crushing guilt that follows when you don’t include everyone.
• You realize that your sweet fiancé is not as apathetic as movie-grooms…he DOES care about odd little nuances and you’ll hurt his feelings if you don’t let him help.
• You realize that every last extra pound is visible enough to be seen from space…and no matter what you do, YOU CAN’T GET RID OF ALL OF THEM.
• You start having nightmares about crazy, psychopathic pastors who hi-jack your wedding, kick out your minister, and invite people from the street in to eat your cake.
• You have anxiety attacks every time you lie down to attempt sleep because you STILL haven’t sent your father an updated budget sheet and you’re pretty sure he’s going to kill you when he sees it.
• You consider kicking the little old lady in Hobby Lobby because, well, she’s REALLY slow, and you only have twenty minutes before you have to be back at work, and YOU NEED THAT EXACT ROLL OF BURLAP, DAMMIT, PUT IT DOWN NOW!!!

It’s ugly, y'all.

So here's my question: Why don’t we talk about the reality of wedding planning? Why do we let each other believe that it’s fun? Let’s be real for a second, ladies. Sometimes, it kinda sucks. Even (perhaps especially) when you know what you’re doing.

In the spirit of transparency, here’s just a quick snippet of what I’ve learned about the expectations and realities of Wedding Planning.

1. Bridal Magazines

Expectation: These tomes will be the helpers I need to plan my big day!

Reality: Oh wait...

2. Browsing Pinterest

Expectation: I'll be able to find great ideas to help make my wedding personal and affordable!

Reality: Clearly, I will never accomplish anything worthwhile.

3. Choosing Wedding Vendors

Expectation: I will evaluate each vendor objectively and thoroughly before making my decision.

Reality: You lost me at the twelfth filling option...just book it.

4. Making Decisions

Expectation: Yay! I've confidently made a decision and checked something else off my list!

Reality: Umm...Umm...Umm...purple?

5. Getting In Shape

Expectation: I will work out and eat better and it will be AWESOME!

Reality: I'm so tired I cannot move.

6. Body Image

Expectation: My wedding dress will make me feel like a fairy tale princess.

Reality: Nope

7. Organization

Expectation: I will have checklists, organized files, and a logical plan. 

Reality: Whatever

8. The Budget

Expectation: I’ll carefully use my savings and make smart choices.

Reality: It is horrible to limit everyone to one slice of pizza and a donut hole?

9. Productivity

Expectation: This weekend, I will get things done!

Reality: Or, you know...tomorrow?

10. Anticipation

Expectation: I'm getting married!

Reality: I'm also having a giant party where everyone expects me to feed them, entertain them, AND not trip and fall off my 4" heels...