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Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Errands & Leftover Thai Food

It's amazing the things that make up "normal life" - ever stopped to think about it? What is it about your world that makes things feel...normal, usual, stable (whatever word you wanna put there)?

I haven't felt "normal" for about two weeks now. I've felt a myriad of other things (hurt, sick, exhausted, weak, off kilter, out of sorts, safe, loved, cared for), but not normal.

I thought maybe it was because I wasn't in MY house. But I didn't feel normal after getting back here.

I then thought maybe it was because the house was still untidy and unorganized. But I didn't feel normal after cleaning up and taking the Christmas decorations down.

THEN I thought maybe it was because I wasn't on my normal schedule. But I didn't feel normal after making myself stick to my typical day-to-day timeline.

So then I gave up.

I went all David After Dentist, staring at the ceiling in my bedroom thinking, "Is this going to be FOREVER?" I knew better, but, if you haven't surmised from reading my previous posts, I'm not the most patient person in the world. (I'm also an over-user of hyperbole, so in my world "forever" could very well just be next week.)

Then, today, in the midst of planning out my afternoon errands and eating my lunch of leftover Thai while You've Got Mail played in the background (...for the third time in a row), I felt like me again. I wasn't even trying. I was in clothes I never wear, sitting in a spot I never sit in, surrounded by two piles of laundry and empty Powerade bottles...and yet, "normal" hit me like a pile of bricks. It was wonderful - one of those moments where you realize: I can just relax.  Everything is fine and life is going to go back to the way it was, despite my efforts. Know the feeling?

I'm glad I got my normal back. I feel tons better, I checked several things off my To Do list (including ordering my bridesmaid dress for Brother's wedding), and I had dinner with some of my favorite people. All in all my spirits are pretty high today. I'm going in for a check-up and getting my staples out tomorrow, however, so that could change quickly. We'll see how that goes...(prayers appreciated).

Til then, friends. 

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